Who is VONSTER?
O.K. so I have been blogging now for 7 months now. It was slow at first but now I think I am getting the hang of things around these parts. I feel I am slowly being welcomed into this wonderful Peoria community of bloggers. It is kind of wierd feeling a certain amount of kinship to people I only know "digitally." But I like putting my opinions out there for others to see. I also like to see what the rest of my fellow Peorians think about certain issues. With that said, in an effort to generate some more interest in Oneproblem I am going to start including simple questions that you can leave short or long responses to. I think this could be fun and generate some good discussion. So here is question # 1.
Who is Vonster?
I am not looking for a name but more of a description based on Vonster's general bloggerific personality. I'll go first.
Although it seems as if we share the same political ideology, I think it is safe to say that we are nothing alike. Part of me thinks Vonster's a CAT shop worker. But that couldn't be because Vonster seems to update Vonster's blog frequently and during the day. Something a shop worker probably couldn't do. But then Vonster makes references to "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" which makes me think Vonster is around my age or a little younger, since I got the reference. Vonster's views seem to have recovered from a collegiate liberal washing, so, a minimum of age 28 seems right. (that is if Vonster went to college) Vonster probably drives an SUV. But not a new one. Maybe an 1989 Ford Bronco II. With a gun rack. Vonster knows what Starbucks is but prefers Folgers. I'm gonna put Vonster somewhere across the river. Say.....Creve Coeur or Marquette Heights. Vonster has a mullet. But it is not long. I can't figure out what is in Vonster's CD player. It's either Tool or Bruce Hornsby.
Well, that's about all I have for now. Please feel free to add or correct. Please remember that this is meant to be fun so make your comments more creative than mean. Oh yeah.....one last thing...... Vonster is a woman......and she has a sense of humor.
posted by BJ Aberle @ 6:58 PM
12 Comments:
But I did get the mullet right didn't I?....How about the sense of humor?
Vonster's sense of humor is about like Dick Cheney's. A little "that shot in the face was f'en funny, wasn't it?" kind of style.
I think he is quite a bit older than 28, and I think he drives a mini-van...or his wife does. He does live in Peoria, not very far from Glen Oak if I remember correctly. I have no idea what he does for a living.
How'd I do?
His wife has a good job- he stays home. 30 year's old, never made it through college. Probably a decent guy, but insecure, always feels misunderstood, doesn't like criticism, and isn't as sure of himself or his beliefs as he would like us to believe (which is why no comments are allowed).
If you are correct that means he lives near me!!! Do you think he'd come over for a cup of Folgers? I think he is older than 28 too. That was just the minimum age.
Not bad BJ.....but what does he put in that mini-van?
peoriaillinoisian....good thoughts. I bet he at least went to ICC. Heck!!! even I dropped out of ICC.
What does he put in the mini-van?
I have no idea. I'm guessing that ON his mini-van are stickers like "W '04" and "*&ck The Dixie Chicks" and "I (heart) Dick Cheney". Stuff like that.
If we get some more descriptions I think an artist rendering will be appropriate.
Von,
My intent is to have a little fun. All I really know about you is that you hold conservative values and we share disdain for progressive liberal ideas. You are anonymous so why not have a little fun? Who does it hurt? Don't think too highly of yourself to label me a stalker. But I need some more input from other bloggers before I can start my artistic rendering of the VONSTER.
Oh, I forgot to tell you BJ.
Everytime someone talks about Vonster, he immediately breaks out the "cyber-stalking" routine. Funny thing is, I told Diane last night when I was making my funny about the bumper stickers that soon enough, Vonster would come in and say someone was "stalking him".
He never fails to disappoint!
I've been thinking about this for a while and here's the description I've come up with.
5'8-9"; early to mid 40's; brown, thinning hair (still trying to decide about the mullet...if it's there, it's short); hazel eyes; medium build.
Works day shift somewhere with computer access, but computers aren't his job. May not be a college graduate, but smart enough for a middle management drone. Don't think it's Cat...insurance, maybe. Something dry and uninteresting to most people. Doesn't really like his job...maybe even hates it, but enjoys the security. People at work think of him (if they think of him at all) as a milquetoast.
Drives something completely and utterly "sensible"...maybe not a minivan...some nondescript, mid-size sedan, more likely. Non-smoker; rarely drinks; curses, but only when he thinks no one can hear him. Secretly surfs porn, but believes in mom, apple pie and the flag.
Though he'd like everyone to believe that he's strong, inflexible and always completely sure of himself, it's an act.
He's as insecure as the next guy...maybe moreso.
He loves the anonimity of blogging. He can be whatever he wants to be. He loves the attention he gets from stirring things up...he relishes it. Though he may call you a 'stalker', secretly he's tickled pink over the attention.
In other words, he's "everyman". And deep down, he hates it.
Sadly, none of us will probably ever know the true Vonster, so we'll never know how far off (or close) we've come to a description.
Because, you see, if any of us ever DID get to meet him, his jig would be up...so to speak.
very good Pam. I think I will start on a sketch!!
Is not this Vonster guy the same guy some years ago that hosted a late night cable radio show? He went by the same nickname "Vonster"
I would add my guess, but I know too much... HOW about that?
The funny thing is, I don't really see Vonster as an anonymous presence on the web, like me. But Vonster has a tendency to show up in unexpected places.
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